Book Review: A Plain Disappearance

The book A Plain Disappearance by Amanda Flower is the third in the series The Appleseed Creek Mysteries. This was my first exposure to the author and the series. Despite not being familiar with the characters and their histories, I was able to follow along and enjoy the mystery.

The story is about a young woman, Chloe Humphreys, who lives in an Amish community in Ohio, though she is not Amish. Her life is further entwined in the Amish culture because she is dating a young man who left the Amish faith prior to his baptism. This allows him to continue living and working in association with his family.

A young girl is murdered in this quiet community, and Chloe finds herself in the middle, assisting the police chief in solving it. Apparently she has come to the aid of the police in both of the previous books. The interplay between the characters seems to have developed over the course of the series, so as I read, I found myself wondering about what had happened in the previous books. This doesn't detract too much from the story, although I do think I would have enjoyed the story more had I read the first two books.

The crime is solved in the very last few pages, which feeds the reader's desire for a good whodunit intrigue. The characters are relatable, and the writer's style is enjoyable and makes the reading experience pleasant. I plan to pick up the first two novels in the series, and then look forward to what happens next in Appleseed Creek!

I received this book for the purpose of this review. I was not required to write a favorable review.

Packing Light - a Book Review

Packing Light, by Allison Vesterfelt

We all have baggage. Some baggage is heavier than others. But no matter what kind of life we've lived, when Christ makes us born again, He takes that baggage and replaces it with His own - His gospel. We're new creations. The old man has passed away, and all things are new.

So why is it then, that we keep trying to stuff more into our suitcase? We try to pick up some of the old stuff and cram it in, and we pick up all kinds of useless junk along that way that just has to be included on the journey. If we're really messed up, we keep our suitcase, and then buy a back pack, overnight bag, and footlocker just so we have more room for the stuff that we don't need! And then we're so concerned with carrying all that stuff, and shuffling it around, and trying to find the appropriate stuff to pull out for any situation, that we lose sight of ourselves! We become junk store merchants! This is not the life to which we're call in Christ. We're called to let go, follow Him and fully trust Him to meet every need.

Allison Vesterfelt has written a thought-provoking memoir of her journey to this understanding. Stepping outside of her comfort zone, she embarks on a 50-state adventure with a friend. They must pack light, since they'll be on the road for 6 months, driving across the country and back. As they travel, they accumulate more stuff, they purge, they acquire. They are constantly re-evaluating what is necessary and what can be discarded. Allison comes to realize that in holding tightly to the unnecessary, she was letting go of the person God created her to become.

Packing Light is a great read - there's adventure, fun and loss. And intentionally or not, Packing Light is packed full of the good news. In talking about making decisions for her life, she writes, "Everything was going to be okay. I knew it. He (God) loved me, He loved me, He loved me. That was all that mattered." (p. 95) She talks about unrealized expectations in a way that reminded me of Jesus' twelve disciples - they were expecting a triumphant, conquering Messiah, but instead they had one who was killed on a cross. She writes about rules and how we think obeying the rules will keep us from disappointment and heartache, but they don't. Just like keeping the Law of Scripture, which cannot save us. We either neglect the rules and reap the consequences, or we become obsessed with them and shift our focus off the beauty and glory of God and shine the spotlight on ourselves and our efforts.

In my opinion, her most profound words appear on pages 130-131. I won't quote it entirely (you'll just have to read the book yourself!). But I will close with my favorite sentence: "When we become who God meant us to be all along, we leave a wake of His presence behind us." Isn't that what the Christian life is all about? We live our lives in such a way that the world might see Christ in us, the hope of glory. Buy the book, read it, and pass it on to someone else who needs to learn to fill their suitcase with the gospel, and let all the rest take care of itself.

I received this book from the author for the purpose of this review, although I was not required to write a favorable review. I just couldn't help it!

I Am Barabbas

Contemplating the Good Friday story today. So many of the players depict me in part: Like Peter, I deny Christ in my words and deeds out of fear of what others will think. Like the Pharisees, I think I can be good enough to deserve God's love. But I realized today that the person in the story that most completely portrays me is Barabbas. Guilty, deserving death, but gets off Scott-free because Jesus took my place. I am Barabbas. He went free because sinful people fear grace much more than we fear sin. We think we are good enough to atone for our sin and make ourselves righteous. Grace tells us that we are beyond the hope of ever being good enough. Looking at grace forces us to see our total depravity. The Pharisees were trusting in their excellent work of law-keeping, which would require God to call them righteous. But righteousness comes to those who are unable to merit it, through the grace of God in Jesus Christ.In Christ, I am forgiven much. May my love for others show how much I love Christ.

More things to think about

I started this blog two years ago, when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. My sister thought it would be cathartic for me to express my thoughts as I walked through that period of my life. It certainly was fun, and a helpful outlet.

It seems that God has given me some new things to walk through with Him, and to think about how He is still in control no matter what comes into my life. I'm writing this from my hospital bed, where I have been for five days. After almost two months of dealing with uncontrollable asthma, my doctor admitted me on high dose steroids. The steroids caused my blood sugar to go into a tailspin, oftentimes not registering on the meter because of how high it was! I have not ever had blood sugar issues personally. My mom was diabetic, and I've been considered to probably have Metabolic Syndrome, which has included endometriosis and poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, as well as my thyroid issues. The doctor thinks that this current incident with the steroids has probably just pushed me over the line into diabetes. I will go home on insulin and oral medication, with the goals of weaning off all the meds as quickly as possible. My goal is to be a diet-controlled diabetic.

This goal makes me start thinking about God's sovereignty and my accountability. I'm not disciplined in my eating or exercise habits - never have been. I was a stick as a kid and ate whatever, whenever. But over the course of my life thus far, the different aspects of Metabolic syndrome, as well as my lack of discipline, have all caused me to be overweight, which is probably another factor in my current situation. So now I sit here playing "What If" with myself. what if I had been more disciplined and kept better care of myself? Would I be in this situation right now? If this was God's plan for my life at this point, would my good efforts have been able to thwart His plan? I hang onto Jeremiah 29:11 at this point, and hope that is where the answers to my what if's are found: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." God is not planning my life as it unfolds. He already has all the plans for my life, from beginning to end, and every moment in between.

It's so easy to see the good things as His plan - a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, wonderful friends, a home, a good job, etc. Those are all things that we desire. The "bad" things - cancer, diabetes, loss of loved ones, financial difficulties - those are the things we as believers pray against. But looking back, it has always been these "bad things" that drive me to the throne of grace much more often than the good things. And when I get to that throne, I find the only thing I need - God.

The book of Hebrews chapter 12 talks about how God disciplines His children. We think of discipline as punishment, and that is an incorrect understanding. Jesus lived with his disciples for three years. During that time, He was discipling them - disciplining them, teaching them to be like Him. Discipline is not something that can be done from a distance. It's an up close and personal thing. So in order for God to discipline His children, He brings them close. In a way, it's like he's holding my face tenderly in His hands saying, "Here is a trial. My plan is that through it, you will become more like Jesus. Stay close, come to my throne and sit at my feet so I can give you all the grace and mercy that you will need to patiently endure, and eventually be more than just a conqueror. Don't fixate on the circumstances - they will only cause discouragement, fear, doubt and pain. Fix your eyes on me instead, see Jesus in my face and become a mirror of His image. Let my joy be in you so that your joy is complete. I will give you all you need for godliness and perseverance. When this is through, you will look a little bit more like Christ, the author and perfecter of your faith. And don't forget my promise: I will never leave you or forsake you!"

Keep me at the foot of your throne, my Abba. I want to be like Jesus! After all, that is your ultimate plan for my life.

The Miracle of Manna

Centuries ago, God’s people the Israelites, spent over 400 years in Egypt. Joseph, an Israelite, had been sold into slavery by his brothers, landing him in Egypt. This was God’s provision, because through this event, He brought about relief from a seven year famine and not only stored up food sufficient for those in Egypt, but also for the surrounding nations. Egypt became quite wealthy by selling food from their storehouses. Joseph remained in Egypt, and many of the sons of Israel remained there with him. They prospered and became a large and strong group of people in Egypt.

After several generations, the new Pharaoh became nervous because of the strength of the Israelites. He had not known Joseph and was not aware of how his nation prospered under Joseph’s care. He decided to enslave the Israelites, so that they would not overtake the Egyptians. The Israelites remained slaves in Egypt for many generations.

Finally God raised up a deliverer to lead His people out of Egypt. He sent Moses to Pharaoh multiple times with plagues and miraculous signs. When God caused the death of Pharaoh’s son, he finally relented and set the Israelites free. So the nation of Israel, en masse, left Egypt. They had witnessed miraculous plagues and signs from God; they saw God part the Red Sea so that they could escape Pharaoh’s army; they saw God lead them as a cloud during the day and a pillar of fire at night. They had seen so many amazing things that their God did on their behalf. Yet soon after their release from slavery, they found themselves in the desert: the hot, dry, desolate wilderness. They were hungry. They longed for the food of Egypt. To them, it would have been better to die as slaves with full bellies than follow God hungry, to an unknown place.

I know that feeling. I think the old adage, “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” describes it quite well. Sometimes we think that we’re better off sticking with what we know, even though it might come with bitter circumstances, than to follow God on an unknown path, into an uncertain future. We forget the things we’ve seen God do for us in the past. We lack the trust in His character that it takes to leave everything and follow wherever He leads.

Back to our wandering Israelites – God hears their grumblings for food, and He provides for their need. Every morning, He provided them with bread from Heaven. It just showed up all over the ground once the dew cleared. When the Israelites saw it, they asked each other, “What is it?” That’s where the name ‘manna’ came from – it means ‘what is it?’. God provided something supernatural, food that was other-worldly, something they had never seen before. When I consider the unfettered power and ability of God, I wonder why He didn’t just cause vegetables to cover the ground every morning, or types of other familiar vegetation. Surely in a desert wasteland this would have been equally miraculous! What was His purpose in providing food that begged the question, “What is this?”

I think about biting into a tomato – there are a hundred tiny little seeds inside. The same is true with a cucumber, peppers, green beans, squash, etc. Those seeds can be planted and can reproduce more vegetables. Maybe God wanted to be sure that the food He provided was food that could not be reproduced, except by Him. There’s no way to know for sure that this was God’s rationale. As I write, I can think of a few other possibilities for His purpose. But what I do see is the picture of grace we see in the manna:

Manna came completely from God. I don’t imagine it was hard work for the Creator of the Universe to send manna. He may have just simply said, “Let there be manna!” He was the sole source of manna – no one could study its properties and recreate it in a petri dish. There were no roadside manna stands along the way from Egypt to the Promised Land. It showed up daily, without fail. No one had to remind God to send it to them.

Manna was completely satisfying. The Israelites could gather up only what they needed for each day. They were instructed to gather two quarts of manna per person every morning, and that was sufficient for all their needs. (Which begs the image to consider – the nation of Israel was quite large! That’s a lot of manna!) If someone got greedy and gathered up more than they’d need for the day, by morning they found rotten, worm-infested manna in their Tupperware. But miraculously, the day before each Sabbath they could gather enough manna for two days, and there would be no spoiling. So every day, the necessary amount was readily available for all the needs of every person. No one went to bed hungry.

Manna was sweet. It made cakes that tasted like wafers and honey. It wasn’t salty or spicy. If it had been, the people would have thirsted for water, which wasn’t easy to come by in the desert wasteland.

The Scriptures are full of pictures. Manna is a clear picture of God’s grace. He sent manna to His people while they were complaining about the situation that He led them into, not while they were praising His goodness. While we were sinners, He lavished His grace upon His chosen people. Manna was the sustaining food that the Israelites could not provide for themselves, nor could they live without. Grace is the provision that saves us and then sustains us, conforming us to the image and likeness of His Son, Jesus. Without grace, we are hopeless sinners facing God’s eternal wrath. Manna was a sufficient meal that left every partaker fully satisfied. Grace is sufficient for every need we have: salvation first, and then like the waves of the sea, God bestows “grace upon grace” on us, enabling us to face every circumstance that comes into our lives. Manna was sweet and fragrant. By grace, Christ gave Himself up as a fragrant offering (Eph 5:2), and His Words are like honey to the lips of those who love it (Ps 119:103).

The God who led His people out of Egypt and fed them with manna from His hand is the same God who lavishes grace upon His chosen people today. “Oh taste and see that the Lord is good!”

Adoption...had I but known...

I wrote this in response to a blogger who asked the following:

I need your help. If you’re a parent by birth or by adoption or both, I need your help based on your experience. If you know someone who’s a parent by birth or adoption, I need your help based on your observations.
What do you wish you’d known as you launched into parenting, whether by adoption or by birth?
What have you learned or are you experiencing that’s very different than what you’d expected, whether happy or hard?
What were you totally ignorant about at the beginning that you’re learning by experience?
What unexpected things have blessed you?
What unexpected things have blindsided you?
This is my answer:

I am married almost 27 yrs, and my husband and I have an adopted daughter who is almost 14. Something that completely blindsided me was when my daughter asked me why her birth mom kept her first daughter, but didn’t keep her. The question came out of the blue to me (maybe I was just naive or clueless!) one day a few years ago. Lizzie’s birth mom sent us a photo of herself posing with her firstborn daughter. It had been tucked away for a while, and Lizzie came across it one day when she and I were searching for some lost thing. She looked at it for a few minutes, so I asked her if she’d like to frame it and keep it in her room. That’s when the question came.
I always purposed that whenever Lizzie asked about her birth mom I would be sure not to take it personally, not to feel insecure, etc. I was blindsided by the ache in my heart that I felt for this child that I’ve loved since she was one day old. Mentally I understood that adopted children suffer the loss of identity, connection, etc. But until I heard her sweet voice ask that question, I didn’t realize the emotions that would overwhelm me. I thought that I might feel replaced if she wanted to keep a framed photo of her first mom in her room. How shallow!! I never expected the feelings of grief and sadness that I would feel when this child of my heart expressed her grief and loss.
I breathed a quick prayer for guidance and compassion. “She didn’t choose to give you up because of anything about you. She chose to sacrifice the joy and privilege of knowing you before she ever saw you, because she thought that would be what was best for you. She was young and single and overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising two beautiful girls on her own. We are so very grateful that she gave us such a treasure.” I showed her the pictures that were taken when we met Rose, her birth mom. That was also the day that she put Lizzie in our arms forever, just 24 hours after her birth. The pictures clearly showed our joy and her tears. Her sacrifice cost her dearly. She knew that she wasn’t choosing an easy path for herself, but a better life for her daughter.
I’m sure that didn’t fix her grief. I pray that God’s grace will fill in the gaps that my insufficiency leaves. I pray she will find her self worth in Christ, and never doubt it because of being “given away”.
Adoption is beautiful, but not without great cost. Look at what our adoption cost God.
Ann

Sorry, but I had to add one more thing:
My husband and I are both Caucasian, and Lizzie is African American and Mexican. Obviously, we don’t look alike! I didn’t realize what a wonderful blessing that would be. I have an easy way to make God look great! He did for me what He did for the barren woman in Psalm 113:9 “He gives the barren woman a home,
making her the joyous mother of children.
Praise the Lord!”
When someone asks me about our family, I say that even though my husband and I were physically unable to have children, we are parents! God did what was impossible for us to do for ourselves! That can lead into so many other discussions of His greatness!

Glory

Glory
Ann Dunlap, Aug 3, 2012


The One in whom all glory dwelt, full of truth and grace;
Enthroned on high was worshipped, as each seraph hid his face.
‘Holy! Holy! Holy!’ was the song the angels sang;
Echoed in creation, His eternal praises rang.
But man remained opposed to His Lordship from on high.
And so to make His name renown, He left His homey sky.
Incarnate Lord in human flesh, His glory thickly veiled;
Emmanuel on mortal soil, yet still in Heaven hailed.
We beheld His holiness, full of truth divine;
And still we did not know Him as branches know the vine.
His healing hands reached out in love to give sight to the blind,
To raise the dead, unstop the ear, the lame legs to unbind.
Only man, asleep in pride’s firm grip, rejected Glory’s reach,
While sin demanded payment of law’s disregarded breach.
Again, Love’s healing hands reached out, this time so brutally nailed;
Glory’s blood completely spilled, man’s pridefulness prevailed.
Not thwarted though, the light of Hope, undimmed, shone brighter still;
For sin was not victorious against His perfect will!
In this act of Providence, the veil which hid His face,
Was by Him torn asunder, revealing Love’s great grace.
The Spirit poured out on elected Man to know His Lord,
Bought pardon, sonship, holiness, only God could e’re afford.
Now stand we righteous children, gathered ‘round His heavenly throne,
Where all eternal glory is ascribed to Him alone.