Monday, March 9, 2015

A new hurdle...

Last week I had a routine mammogram. I wonder how many stories start out with those very same words? Anyway, I had actually forgotten about the mammogram until I received a call from their office today while I was at work. It seems that something "showed up" in my left breast. Some irregular, focal, dense, yada yada and some other words...the scheduler lost me after "something showed up". So I have "additional tests" scheduled for next week, and I am absolutely not supposed to worry about this at all. Obviously the scheduler doesn't know me. As much as I would prefer not to worry, it is physically impossible. I was born to a worrier. It's in my DNA. My track record stinks for health issues. I've already had thyroid cancer, and they say that women who have had thyroid cancer are much more likely to develop a second type of cancer within ten years.

Of course it doesn't help that this is coming at a time spiritual disconnect and relational turmoil with those with whom we were in fellowship. I want to trust God. I've had big talk over how easy it was to trust God in the past with all the other stuff. Maybe once I know for sure what's going on, the trust will happen. That saying from a dear old saint in CA rings true - "you don't need the ticket till it's time to get on the train."

I've been following the story of Kara Tippetts, author of The Hardest Peace, fairly closely. I want to have her courage and faith. I want to be around for a long time, especially in Lizzie's life. She needs me, and I love that. I want to meet that need well into her adulthood. And anyway, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and never have to face the "additional tests" anyway...